Sunday, March 18, 2012

Heaven needs babies too

Most everyone loves babies, their tiny imperfect nails, uncontrolled reflexes, chubby thighs, giggles.

Most everyone loves the innocence of children, the funny things they say, the weird things they do, the way they learn and grow into their personalities.

Most everyone loves sweet sixteens or kids graduating college into a big world they've worked hard to be apart of as adults.

Most everyone loves the early parts of adulthood, getting their first job, getting married, becoming parents.

Most everyone loves the wisdom of the old souls that raised us as grandparents.

Each day in our life, whether it be day one or day 200,001, each day there is something more unique about each of us than the last.  We all age at the same rate, yet years are so different in the middle than the beginning and the end of life.

What would our world be like if every person was the same age?  Weird question right?!  That would just be so weird and boring and strange.  How then can we spend eternity with only old people amongst us.  That would also just be so boring.  No wonder God has a different plan for each of us that involves a different age for each of us to reach his kingdom.  I know how much joy there is in holding a baby in my arms.  I can imagine God wants to have this joy too.  The children in heaven must be having so much fun!  They have the world's most patient and loving parent. 

I thought about this a lot on March 23, 2010 when my nephew Jacob was BORNstill, but STILLborn at 35 weeks.   In my deep grief for my sister and our family, as she struggled for her life in the ICU without her first beautiful baby kicking away inside of her, this was one of the first thoughts racing thru my mind as I sat trying to rationalize the horrific event.  A tiny 5 lb 18 inch gorgeous child, that never got to take his first oxygenated breath.  I thought about how much God needed babies and children in heaven just as much as we need them here on earth.  It amazed me how much God wanted her to know he was there, even in the darkest of days.  She was given a tear jerking, page turner in her book of life.

Two years after the placental abruption that took his life, he still lives in my heart and always will.  I'm thankful that through his death, he showed our family that we have a genetic predisposition for miscarriages and blood clots.  He saved so many of us, my sister, our Aunt, myself, from medical issues we never could have foreseen.  His life reminds me of God's omnipotent will in my life.  His life always constantly reminds me that life is a gift and a healthy full term baby is a miracle.  It scares me every night that SIDS will come and take Sam from me.  I don't know if this is because I have held a blue baby, I know the grief, or if it is because deep down I know that Sam is on loan to the world from God.  He is God's first than mine.  No prayers for Sam's health will ever change God's plan for his life.  All I can do as his mother is pray that Sam becomes a man who lives by the fruit of the spirit, a man who knows that to thrive in life he has to be willing to adapt and that he becomes a man who loves the God that created him.

Today, in honor of my friend Anna, whose son Jack gained his wings too soon, we let off six balloons for what would have been his 13th birthday.  One from me, one from Bailey, one from Paul, one from Sam one for Jack and one for Jacob.  Jack's tragic death occurred about a month before Sam was born.  I'm sure Jack's passing would have made me a better mother even if I'd been a veteran mother at the time, but as a newbie, Jack has consistently reminded me of just how much of a gift a child is.  Jack's favorite verse "nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37, is in my mind on replay whenever things get tough with Sam.  His life and his mother's love for him has like my nephew Jacob had an overwhelming shaped my life as a new mother.  I pray that whoever reads this article, will pray for my friend Anna, her husband Tim, her daughter Margaret, her late son Jack and my sister Ruth and her late son Jacob as well as the other women whose children have been given wings early.  Please be patient with your children, hug them and remember the days are long but the years are short. 


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