Tuesday, October 16, 2012

10.11.12: One Year with Sammy!!!

This has been the best, and most speedy year of my life.  I have done everything I can to enjoy each and everyday with you over the past 12 months, doing my best to live with a true intent.  How I praise God for the gift of this wonderful life changing year.

A year and a day ago I never could have imagined a love like this.  I had no clue about so much of this world and how true it is that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  In just one breath you taught me so much and I will always love you and thank you for this wonderful gift of making me a Mom, Sammy.  You are truly the most special part of my soul.  I've always thought when celebrating birthdays that we should also think of what our mothers were doing that day.  It's hard to believe I was becoming a mom through so much hard work and pain a year ago.  I can't imagine my life before.  It's hard to describe the before and after of a first time parent.  I think that is why when you are pregnant and people ask is this your first.  They always have this air of excitement for you as they know, the best is yet to come.  This saying my friend pinned says it all. 

As I look into your eyes today, it doesn't seem possible that a whole year has past.  It seems like just yesterday we saw each other for the first time and yet, I have seen you, held you, breathed you in everyday of your life and it seems like no time has passed at all.  I hope that all the years of your life are this magical and yet, I pray that they all don't go by so quickly.

 To think that when I was 16 and told your Daddy, that I couldn't wait for the day we would be parents together, knowing he would be the perfect Dad, I am amazed at God's faithfulness.  That my first love, got to be my last and that through so many storms (some felt like a cat 5 hurricane), we have weathered them and the dream we had so long ago as kids is far better than either of us ever could have imagined.  I think of the devastation of what was in December of 2010, a miscarriage and a cancer diagnosis all on the same day and how just 22 months later almost to the day that all seems so far away.

I will never forget, Sammy.  Every good and perfect thing is from above James 1:17

Today, October 15 is the first anniversary of your due date.  On Oct 11, 2011 you made your debut.  You were born blue, your umbilical cord wrapped so tightly around your little neck.  I have never prayed so fast in my entire  life.  My heart stopped as I shot up looking all over the room for my baby that had grown from a prayer, to a poppy seed, to what looked like a firefly as we saw you for the first time on a tv screen as we learned your tiny heart was flickering creating a beautiful glow inside your body.  You've lived a year of life my love.  A huge miracle that so many babies never get to.  I will praise God always for you. 
For this Child I Have Prayed 1 Samuel 1:27

You have gone from a beautiful 8 lb baby who loved to eat and lift your sleepy head onto your pillow (my breast) .  You're a thriving toddler now and I yearn to hug and kiss and hold close forever.

Happy Birthday Sammy!  We love you "to the moon and back"


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