Adjusting to life as the Mom of Two under Two

I started this post a few days after we came home from the hospital.  I'm glad it's taken me almost three months to post it because it has really been quite the on going life change.  Now that I can see the semblance of a routine forming, I finally feel like I've gotten somewhat of a grip on being a mom of two under two (I'm sure I'll pay for that comment shortly, it is murphy's law after all).  For a few weeks I literally felt like days were just getting away from me, one melting into another compounding the feeling that I was seriously not winning at this game of whining and crying, feeding, changing diaper after diaper, repeat.

When I was pregnant and envisioning this next life change, I truly just felt a bit frozen in fear.  Part of it was that I really had no clue how taking care of every need for 2 young kids, myself a dog and a cat alone for close to 10 hours a day was going to go down.  I was scared big time of the change and was worried about how I would handle things like getting Sammy down for a nap while the baby was awake.  I wasn't too worried about loving both  Sammy and the new baby.  I had heard enough times, your heart simply grows.

What struck me horribly by surprise was what has been my biggest adjustment.  I guessed people had me thinking the only two worries would be loving the new baby as much as I loved my first and easing through Sammy going from only to oldest child.  The problem for me was that I somehow changed how I saw Sam because I started loving the new baby.  A terrible feeling knowing that Sam was also probably feeling very replaced.  Can you imagine, it would be like your spouse bringing in another woman to love and you just had to deal.  I didn't anticipate how I would react to Sammy, vs the new baby.  I've written redundantly about how Sammy's babiness has been disappearing in what seems like milliseconds on my monthly Sammy posts so I'm not sure how this surprised me so much.  However when I got home it was like a bomb had gone off and in it's wake my baby and toddler were just replaced by big kid.

In hindsight by 4 weeks postpartum the thought was completely ridiculous, but I just couldn't and still sorta can't see him as a baby anymore at all.   His needs were so different than this helpless newborn weighing just a mere 8lbs.  It was just crazy how he truly grew up in a blink of an eye.  It took me several days to find a new normal with how I viewed Sammy.  I was really upset over the way Sammy had gone from my whole world to this kid who was driving me absolutely nuts.  After a few days had passed, I was able to see on Sammy's face how down trodden he had become.  He just seemed weathered and sad and it just about broke my heart.  It was right then and there that I realized some of this had to do with me treating him as an older child vs the not even two year old he was.  I needed to get back to treating Sam with the level of care I had always given him.  Doing so, really helped us both to adjust.

Paul is fortunate to work for an amazing company that provides fully paid paternity for two weeks and then allows a father to take as much of their vacation leave as they'd like or also just unpaid FMLA.  Paul took off a bit more than 4 weeks and it was great and needed, especially with two kids.  It gave me the chance I needed to bond with Lexi.  Without him being home, I honestly can't imagine being able to sit and be still and just love on her the way we both needed.  Paul being home allowed us to keep Sammy on his regular routine of getting out of the house each day, which in turn gave me 1 on 1 time with the new baby and Sammy 1 on 1 time with his Dad and sometimes with me.  By the start of the 3rd week, I was ready to face reality and find a new normal at home.  I think everyone Sammy and Paul included also needed to get back to life as a new normal. 

What has helped for me now 3 months in has been to really focus the first set of waking hours before Sammy takes a nap just on him.  I struggled emotionally with having to let Sam be by himself while I tended to Lexi but we have both adjusted to the normality of needing to tend to each child on their own a few times a day.  I'm not sure what I could have done to prepare Sammy for this change in his life as I also didn't expect to have a nosey newborn who didn't just conk out when tired.  It's almost like giving birth.  You can only do so much to prepare for it, but in the end only the present moment will give you the opportunity to know and write your story.  Fortunately, Lexi has blessed us as a great at home sleeper (knock on wood) which has given me and Sam wonderful one on one time.  

I think back to the question we get often of if it is harder or easier the second time around and the fact is that both are hard and easy in their own right.  I know I had severe newborn amnesia from the first go around.  I remember it being hard, but I think you just forget just how hard having a newborn can be.  The unpredictability, the amount of time they spend feeding, going to sleep, etc.  The first time around everything overwhelmed me because I had no idea what I was doing or if I was doing it right/wrong.  I read way too many books that did nothing but remind me to use my intuition and read my son.  The second time I have been way more relaxed (haven't picked up single baby book and haven't looked back).  Lexi has been exposed to so many of Sammy's germs and has been manhandled in ways I would have died over had it happened to Sammy.  The second time I have also been in tears with the enormity of the work.  The day I had to put both of them to bed by myself when Lexi was 9 weeks old and Paul had gone to NY for work was horrible.  So thankful that day is over and won't be back.

I had to readjust my expectations since I had assumed she would have just come with us on walks, to the park and shopping in her carseat or ergo.  Unfortunately even given my best effort to get us out of the house from the get go, it just wasn't going to happen once the early first few weeks of extreme portability wore off.  Lexi was just way overstimulated by the environment around her or it was just reflux causing a host of problems.  We have become very inventive on fun stuff to do at home while Lexi naps all morning.  Sammy still gets out of the house after Paul gets home around 5 to run errands, go for walks or go to the playground.  Also having my Dad come over to get him out of the house for a bit has also helped both me and Sammy tremendously.  So aside from getting out of the house first thing after breakfast and watching tv more than he used to, Sammy's routine has stayed the same which I know has helped his world not be completely rocked.  He now understands that I'm going upstairs to put Lexi down for a nap and to stay downstairs and watch tv, have a snack and play with his toys for 10 minutes (this took some time but it has helped a lot!)

Now that most of the newborn fog has lifted we are starting to get out alone and as a family.  Life feels much more balanced and it is amazing how fast time has gone.  It truly has been a butterfly like metamorphasis becoming the mother of two and watching Sam grow as a big brother and Lexi as a little sister.  The worry has faded about whether both are getting enough of me.  They have both grown to need each other and love being together.  Sammy goes around almost all day saying, Baby awake? Baby asleep.  Makes me so happy to know his sister brings him so much joy.  I hope that they will always have such a strong innate bond. 

I am sure I will again feel overwhelmed when a new stage hits me by surprise but for now I feel like I can breathe and feel adjusted both from the standpoint of loving myself, my kids and our new normal as a family of 4.75!  Now to feel more comfortable in my non elastic waist band pants!

 

Tiny Prints Christmas Card Time!

Incredible that we are already at the 2013 Christmas Season.  Last year at this time if told me I'd have a 4 month old for Christmas I would have laughed.  So blessed the joke is on me!

Last night before bed I stepped outside to take Bailey for a walk and was caught off guard by the beauty and smell of the crisp fall air.  I could smell the clean non humid air, the stars for the first time I can remember in our neighborhood were breathtaking (we live in a very well lit area) and you could just smell the leaves having reached their peak.  Never mind that I could see my breath and that Bailey was taking his sweet time, I was soaking up the change of the season.

Tonight when I made my great escape during Lexi and Sammy's nap I fled to target and was of course drawn into yet another sign that Christmas is near.  I was so excited to add Lexi to the tradition I started in 2011 of buying Sammy a child friendly ornament each year.  This came in handy last year when Sammy was able to pull at the ornaments at the bottom of the tree.  Hopefully this year Sammy listens a little better and our tree won't end up having to look like a backwards mullet of ornaments.

Another tradition to continue as we head into the Christmas Season is picking out our Christmas card.  Oh how our Christmas cards have changed over the last 10 Christmas' we have been married.  From boxed cards to photo cards of the cats, to the cats and Bailey, then Sammy and now Lexi and Sammy.  Now we have kids (emphasis on the plural) to spread joy through cards this Christmas.  How blessed are we!

I talked a little bit about how I was already perusing Tiny Prints Christmas cards when I ordered Lexi's birth announcements a few months ago.  Here are my favs for this year.  Will you be surprised by my choice in a few short weeks when they are delievered to your door? 

What will you chose this year?

 

 

I hope as you start celebrating this Christmas, you get a chance to hop over to the Tiny Prints website and see all the cute cards they have to offer again this year. 

Easter 2013 and an Easter basket for an 18 month old

 Better late than never! Easter 2013

A little disclaimer before I move onto Sammy's Easter basket: Easter is a very special holiday for us.  While the Easter egg hunts, bunnies, and new toys are fun,  we celebrate because Easter gives Christianity it's redemptive Grace.  Sitting down for a nice dinner with family and rejoicing in salvation is truly something very special.

This Easter was extra special because we had just found out our baby's gender and were excited to share the news with our family.  I had planned a fun gender reveal with gender specific candy in Easter Eggs and some gender specific frosted carrot cake cupcakes and then whomp whomp, Paul went and told the whole world who of course let it slip to our parents.  High five to the face Paul, thanks. 

Here's the little basket I had put together.  It's a GIRL!!

We made Sammy a simple Easter basket and filled it with a lot of fun toddler friendly items.

• A new book and ball from the target dollar spot
• New sippy cup (target sells these seasonal munckin cups with straws for $3, they are the best)
• Eggs filled with
• Goldfish
• Yogurt drops
• Animal crackers
• Socks

A few new outfits for summer

His big gift was a water table purchased at Costco.  This has been SO awesome to have on the deck.  It keeps him busy while I cook and he loves it.  I see many years of fun ahead with it.

 

Hello Again!

Stopping my mad procrastinating skills and brushing off the cobwebs on the good ole blog.

It's been a seriously long time and a lot has changed since my last post.  If I still have any readers (I added a few other follow buttons since google reader sadly is gone), you are about to experience the world's fastest blog pregnancy.  I'm due next week!  Most bloggers slow down for their first tri to get a wrap on things, I apparently take off my whole pregnancy.

 

Mr Serious.  Couldn't get him to crack a smile, he wanted to play with the blocks!

We found out I was pregnant a few days after our Christmas Party in mid December.  Slightly crazy since I decided to drink up a storm as I hadn't been able to drink at our last Christmas party in 2010 and then having to cancel our 2011 party due to newborn Sammy, that I would be enjoying a plethora of my infamous mimitini's.  Oooops.   So needless to say, God gave us a little early surprise Christmas Present.  By Christmas I was feeling more like this was Paul's present and by March I was feeling it even more so.  The couch totally swallowed me up for weeks on end as I succumbed to the "first trimester" baby incubating period.

After having tried for so long to get pregnant with Sammy in 2010, it was certainly different to experience finding out I was pregnant without trying.  Unlike with Sammy's pregnancy which I had prayed ceaselessly for, here I was with a gift I knew I would treasure but wasn't quite sure I was ready for.  With Sammy, I knew exactly when we had conceived, the joy was as immediate as the second pink line.  So many answered prayers, and yet with this pregnancy that second pink line brought a lot of fear.  Looking back though, I know the surprise was just a continuation of those prayers from 3 years before.  I was so incredibly thankful to not have to experience an early miscarriage again or the ups and downs of trying to conceive.  It took me much longer this pregnancy to feel better (almost 20 weeks) which was pretty hard with a young toddler needing me to be active.  A lot of that may have been the crazy cold weather we had in DC (snow in March!!!) Once the weather finally broke and I started feeling a lot of movements a lot of the joy of being pregnant was there just like it was with Sammy.

I showed pretty much immediately this time.  By 12 weeks, I looked like I did when I was 20 weeks with Sammy.  Here are the few bump pics I've taken.

I was about 14 weeks here in March at a little gym party for our friend's first birthday party

 About 26 weeks here in early May at the Pet Fiesta with Sammy

 And about 30 weeks here in OBX in late May

 I know you are jealous of my awesome six pack ;)

At my sprinkle at 37 weeks

Today at 38.6 weeks

Fortunately my weight gain stopped in late May.  I've miracuously stayed the same weight for my whole third trimester.  I'm so incredibly thankful.  I had already started the pregnancy 10 lbs heavier than I was with Sammy and for me breastfeeding does nothing to take off lbs.  It may even keep them on.

A week out from my due date and I can't wait to meet this little one.  Sammy is going to be a great big brother and I think he's a great age for the transition.  I'll report back on how it goes ;)

Anyways, I'll be posting a catch up on Sammy's monthly posts, a trip review from our first family trip to the Outer banks, a new nursery reveal and a few other fun posts I have drafted and never published.  Hope you enjoy!

A Day in the Life: Sammy Edition, almost 12 months

I posted this a few weeks ago as a guest blogger for Ashley over at the domestic wannabe.  In case you missed it, here is the post!

I'm a stay at home mom to a beautiful and courageous 1 year old son, Sammy.  If you'd asked me a year ago if I thought I'd be a SAHM, the thought would have been foreign to me.  Somehow the second I laid eyes on my son, years of thinking I'd be a working mom vanished from me.

Today is Saturday October 7, 2012 and my baby Sammy is about to turn 1 in 4 days!!!  I can't believe it.  Time has flown by too fast and I've fortunately spent the last year trying to relish each and every day I've been Sammy's Mom.

I would have chosen a weekday, but I kept forgetting to take pictures throughout the day, so I had to choose today as I was running out of time to get this post over to Ashley!  Se la vie!

Sammy slept really well last night, only waking once almost 10 hours after he went to bed.  It was 4:52 am and I took my tatas over to see Mr. Sammy who nursed for a bit and went right back to sleep.  I was back in bed by 5:15.  After getting my husband to stop snoring in my ear, I finally was back in lala land.

7:00 am on the dot and Sammy is up!  Why is it that baby's don't need alarm clocks?  This kid has a wicked circadian rhythm.  I force Paul out of bed to get in the shower while I nurse him and change him into a fresh diaper.

7:20: Sammy is ready to play!  Fortunately, Daddy is just stepping out of the shower and I hand him over and hop back into bed for a few minutes!  Paul has to work today, but I can normally squeeze in at least 20 minutes to myself in the mornings while he gets ready and spends some Daddy Sammy time together downstairs.

8:00 I'm being summoned as Paul has to leave, so I drag myself downstairs and give Sammy some breakfast.  I give him some cheerios, fresh peach, a little piece of a banana and some of my cinnamon raison toast with cream cheese and fresh pumpkin butter from our visit to the pumpkin patch.

8:30, We are done with breakfast and I straighten up and we head downstairs for some play time.  Sammy helps me fold up some laundry and I start chasing him around and making sure he doesn't kill himself. This child is into EVERYTHING.  My husband was putting the suitcases away on vacation and Sammy crawled right in.  Then he stayed there for 45 minutes!  It was a miracle.  So now, we have a suitcase in our family room.  It's a non torture containment device.  Seriously, it's screaming 1 way to entertain your infant with a household item pin on pinterest.

9:45: I can see Sammy is starting to wain and I take him upstairs and start our naptime routine of getting into his sleepsack and reading to him.  He also is getting over a bit of a cold so I clear out his nose with the best invention ever: A snotsucker.  Yes, worst name ever for the best baby tool ever.

10:00: I nurse Sammy

10:25: He FINALLY goes to sleep and I relax with my google reader, facebook, texting some friends back all in the cozy of my bed.  I've gotten into the habit of making sure I take time for myself during his first nap.  Sometimes I even take a quick nap.  I call it putting oxygen on myself first.  Sammy spent many, many months not napping or sleeping well at night, the exhaustion I felt was so overwhelming I really needed to rest myself in order to ensure I was going to be capable of being a good Mom for the rest of the day.

11:15: I hop in the shower, video monitor close by.  I want to get myself ready for the day since we have plans to go to a fun ocktoberfest.  I love Fall in the dc area.  Not only is the weather perfect, the leaves are gorgeous and there is always something fun to do on the weekends.

11:50: Sammy is up and ready for me to come get him.  He isn't one to wait patiently in his crib so I try to get him before he goes nuts. I nurse him for a few minutes and then go to change him.  I don't get a new diaper on in time and while I am holding him, he decides to pee more than he ever has on me.  Seriously, I felt like I was the one who peed myself.  Fortunately, I absorb all the pee and none of it gets on the bed.  Unfortunately, this means me being ready to go when he woke up, was a complete waste of time as now I have to find a new outfit to wear.  At least Sammy looks cute!

12:20 pm:  We head downstairs and I get lunch ready.  We are having left over turkey meatballs with broccoli and cheese and spaghetti squash cooked in EVO, garlic, basil and lemon juice.  It is gorgeous out and I decide since the days of warm weather are fleeting, we are going to eat al fresco out on the deck.

1:00 We are done with lunch and I clean up the kitchen.  We bought these terrible baby proof locks which when tugged to hard break off.  Paul and I broke a couple, before we realized we had installed them and now Sammy with his herculean efforts to get into things he isn't supposed to broke more.  Finally, I gave up and made one of the lower drawers a busy box for him.  I left a bunch of the tupperware in there and added a bunch of other things like buckles, teething things, toys, ribbons to keep him busy while I'm cleaning up or making dinner.  Genius Idea if I don't say so myself!

1:20: He is still busy in his busy box and the kitchen is nice and clean.  I mentally took a picture for you guys but unfortunately forgot to actually do it! 

1:30: Daddy is home! Paul works as a branch manager for a bank and sometimes works on Saturdays.  He gets a day off during the week if he does, which is also nice.  Last week he took of Wednesday and we had a totally fun day as a family.  Paul also surprised me by taking the reins and painting our kitchen!  I've got a great hubby! Paul takes Sammy and goes to change with him and play.  Sammy loves when Daddy comes home.  It's so cute.  He and Bailey race to the door when they hear the garage door.  Bailey was exceptionally excited today and race up and down the hallway with his bone.  Sammy was looking at him like he had gone mad.

I use this time to finish the laundry from earlier.  We've been using BG 4.0s with snaps for about 6 months now and while I was soooo anxious about using CDs, they have been amazing and such a money saver for our family. 

 
2:00: I go upstairs to see what's going on since we were supposed to leave right when Paul got home.  Instead I see Sammy sitting on the couch watching football while Paul sits at the kitchen island eating!  I cease to be amazed by what Paul comes up with during Sammy and Daddy time.  If I didn't relish my breaks, I would probably have more to say about it.  Trust me, if I had the intuition to bring my phone with me I would have had a picture to show you all.  It was a pretty classic are you kidding me right now scenario.

2:15: It's gotten too late to go all the way to the Octoberfest, so we decide to go for a walk up to an awesome shopping center near our house called Fairfax Corner.  They are having an art festival today so it will be another fun free fall day with the fam.  Paul decided it was a good time to pump the tires on the stroller and so it was also a good time to snap some photos.  The leaves are just starting to turn now and the weather is beautiful.  We run into some friends and chat for a minute as we go looking through all the local artists.

3:20: We are back home and we let Sammy play for a little bit.  He hates being strapped in the stroller now and if I don't give him some time to burn off energy after it's built up during a walk I'll never get him down for a nap.  I have no clue if this is just a boy toddler, or if he has ADD, but seriously he has SO much energy!

3:45: Paul takes him upstairs for his naptime routine and I head up in a few minutes to nurse him and put him down.

4:10: Sammy is sleeping!!  No fuss, just a bunch of babbling for 10 minutes until he is finally out.  Paul is working on Sammy's first year photo book for his birthday party next weekend.  Sweet Home Alabama is on so we watch that together and then I steal the computer so I can type up our day so far!

I open the mail and I see that Sammy's birthday shirt came in from etsy.  So excited!!

5:25: Sammy's up!  I go to get him, nurse him for a few minutes and then bring him downstairs for dinner time!  We are trying something new from Trader Joes: Butternut Squash Risotto.  It was really easy to make and also really good! 

6:00: Play time!  We all go downstairs and play around for a little bit.  Super exciting, Sammy walked long enough to catch it on video!  He took his first steps on 8/24, but I don't think he realized it.  On 9/23 he took a bunch in earnest and then today was REALLY doing it!  So exciting!

6:45: Bedtime is usually Daddy and Sammy time, so Daddy goes up to read a few books and give Sammy a bath

7:00 Bath Time! 

7:15:  Daddy hands me a sleepy, squeky clean baby.  I soak up his freshly bathed smell and nurse him.

7:30: Sammy is in Bed!!  Sleeping babies are the best, seriously.

7:45: Grandma just came over so we can go on a date!!  We are buying a new dishwasher and going out for dinner.  Yay!!

8:15: We head out for Lowes and a good spanish restaurant called Alto Plaza.  It has great food, always has coupons and has the most wonderful atmosphere.  Also very important, they always have $5 margaritas!

11:00 We get home and are so thankful for my mom having given us some time to ourselves as a couple.  What a special treat!

11:30 Bedtime for mommy and Daddy!

I love this section of Ashley's post.  I found them really helpful when I was pregnant.

-What is the most surprising thing to you about being a mom?
How naturally mothering came to me.  I am the youngest of six, so I have never been around babies.  Sammy's diaper was the first I ever changed.  I had no idea how much I would love my baby and how easy that makes it to mother, even when it is one of those days that become so long.

-What advice would you give to new or soon-to-be mamas?
Relax and don't sweat the small stuff.  All that matters is that you have your arms and your heart open wide for your baby.

- What are your top three baby products?
Halo Sleep Sacks:  I love these for the peace of mind that they provide.  I know Sammy is nice and warm and isn't tangled in a blanket.  I was terribly paranoid about SIDS and these provided me decent peace of mind.

Boppy Pillow: I've used this every single day since Sammy was born.  If you are planning on nursing, this gives baby a nice place to side lay and gives your arms a break.  Now that Sammy is older it is easier to nurse him without the pillow, but before he could sit up, it just really killed my back without it.

Motorola video monitor: This has also given me great peace of mind.  It is great to see if I need to go in there, or if he is just crying to readjust himself.  The screen is big, it has a great talk back feature if you ever need to wake up your baby, plays lullabies and has a thermometer.