This is LONG, so readers be warned!
At my 38 week appointment when I was hanging out listening to your heartbeat for an hour and being monitored for contractions during my non stress test, the OB surprised me with the news that we were being induced before your 10.15.11 due date. While I was so excited to know the time was almost here and I had almost made it to the eviction date I had given you (39 weeks, what I had heard is the ideal time for a baby to be born. Not too late, not too early). They told me your birthday would be Tuesday 10.11.11.
I was so excited, I needed to "know" when you would be born. I seriously hate surprises and your birth was going to be no exception to that rule. Though I would have loved being able to wake up your Daddy in the middle of the night to tell him we had to go to the hospital, so I could have seen the panic and excitement on his face. Knowing your date of arrival was awesome. Daddy and I spent the next week going on a TON of dates. We even got to have one last picture taken of us by your auntie Stephanie the night I went in to start your eviction process aka my induction.
When I walked out of the office after my 38 week appointment, I seriously felt like like I was holding the golden ticket. The people in the elevator thought I was nuts because the whole time I had a massive grin on my face. Nothing like what I looked like when I rode down the elevator scared and alone when I was 33.5 weeks and was being sent to the hospital in early labor. Apparently when you decided to flip and go head down you sent Mommy's uterus into a panic because you were too big! Thank God for Dr. Hodges, he calmed me down gave me drugs to relax my uterus and get it to stop contracting every minute and got us back on the rode to baking you up perfectly. I couldn't imagine giving birth to you and having to give you up to the NICU while I went home without you. I pray for all the Mommy's who do this and am thankful still that their little ones are still alive and ok. I know first hand birth's 2nd worst case scenario.
Back to your birth: Of course when they told me I would have to be there at 6:30 am I asked them what would happen if I was late. Sorry Sam, but your Mommy does not like being on time! We made a pit stop that morning at starbucks for breakfast. I had to have my PSL, pumpkin bread and a banana. Dr. Hodges had told me to avoid coffee before delivery but my stubbornness prevailed and that was a big mistake. I hadn't had a chance to get to my bread and banana and I was left with only coffee in my belly before delivery. Once I got to the hospital they wouldn't let me eat! Seriously, I was the size of a house and you should never stand between a pregnant woman that big and her food.
Monday night I had to go in and have cervadil put in. I seriously thought that I had lost my virginity from Dr. Hodges big hands going that far up but I digress since there was worse to come. I had been walking around for weeks completely closed up. At 33.5 weeks I had my first cervical check. I wasn't dilated, but was 50% effaced. Weeks went by and by 38 weeks I was barely 1cm dilated and still 70% effaced. Things weren't looking good for us.
When I went in on Tuesday morning for our induction, the cervadil had done nothing...NOTHING. I was still barely 1cm and 70% effaced. Great. Fortunately I was far enough along that Dr. Zaita was able to break my water. She was thinking I wasn't going to take it like a champ since she was still laughing about Dr. Hodges taking my virginity from me 12 hours earlier. Who knows, maybe I was still sore. Anyways, as they broke my water, the pitocin had already started to drip. The two together were ok for a while, but a few hours into it and I was dying. The contractions were so close together without any breaks in between. I was re-checked because I was in so much pain and lo and behold still only 1.5 cm! 3 hours of hard induced labor with niagra falls coming out of me and only .5 cm of progress. I started having back labor, had the WORST heartburn from that damn PSL and my lack of fillers to accompany it and was just about to vomit. The Dr. handed me a bag from the drawer and patted me on the back saying, don't worry, I threw up my whole labor too. Great, I didn't even know that was possible.
That is when I went against everything I thought I was capable of and rang up the anesthesiologist
The Dr. told me it would take about an hr for the epidural to arrive. So mentally I was content with that. It gave me the chance to not get the epidural so early. I wanted to be at least 2 cm. Well, God laughed because I made plans and 15 min later Satan arrived to but a horrible shot and needle in my back. Seriously this was the absolute worst part of the whole birthing experience. I was having contractions so close together I couldn't catch my breath long enough for the anesthesiologist to do this procedure in a time frame I felt comfortable with. So in the midst of the worst pain ever, here I was chancing whether or not I'd be paralyzed for the rest of my life. I had to straddle a nurse and a pillow bend over and get a needle in my back all at once. Daddy wasn't allowed to help for fear he'd freak out and upset me...Great.
Well about 15 minutes later, Mommy was a happy camper again. In fact I was so happy that from that time around 11:15, until it was time to push I was able to nap with my only interruptions being the nurses asking me to move from side to side to help with the decelerations of your heartbeat and the OB checking me. An hour later, I was checked and had made it all the way to 4 cm! By 2 o clock, I was at a 10 and by 3pm, you had moved down far enough that it was time to push. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was going to be there until the next day waiting for you to come out!
Here's when things got a little tricky. I was so uncomfortable with all the wet towels under me. They were so lumpy and hard on my butt which was completely asleep from the epidural. I couldn't take the tingling feeling of my legs being asleep and pushing just wasn't working. That and I really needed one more hour to procrastinate on what would be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There was no escaping as much as I wanted to! I asked the Dr. to turn off the epidural and she agreed. In fact she had this "brilliant" idea to up the pitocin and lower the epidural. GREAT. An hour later, she came back, the Dr. nurses, Dad and I held hands around the bed and Daddy prayed for us, because that was the only way I knew I was going to be capable of doing this and we were all set; the pushing commenced. Then, we pushed and we pushed and we pushed. I was so mad Sammy, I had done everything I could to poop before delivery. I succeeded mere minutes before being strapped down to the bed with all the monitors. Somehow I thought after that first time I pooped during pushing that would be it and it would be out of the way. No, since it took you 2 hours to come out, I was pooping the whole time. This was probably aided by the most annoying nurse ever who kept telling me to push like I was pooping and push under the contraction. What the hell does that even mean. The entire time Dr. Zaita was yelling at me to get mad. They all finally annoyed me enough with their "coaching" that I did get mad! I was begging for some help since Dr. Zaita kept saying it was easy just push your head out and she would do the rest. I asked if she could just get your head while she was at it and she wasn't too pleased with my joke. It wasn't easy. The stupid epidural had worn off and I could feel ever ounce of the ring of fire. Finally the damn nurse got to me and I cursed at her. Dr. Zaita cheered and I was so annoyed I gave one last push and you were out.
So at 6:17pm, you came into this world weighing 8.04 lbs and you were exactly 21 inches long. You didn't come out the way I thought you would. You weren't screaming and you weren't blopped on my chest the way I had asked you to be in my non-birth plan plan. I was so scared, this was my nightmare unfolding before me. I shot straight up in bed forgetting I hadn't moved in 12 hours and almost fell out. The nurse caught me and told me I was dizzy and uncoordinated still from the epidural. I was screaming at Daddy to go to you and figure out what happened. He was supposed to cut the cord and here you were 5 feet away from me. Dr. Zaita praise God saved your life. You had the cord so tightly wrapped around your neck that she had to cut it straight off of you. That is probably why there were so many decels in your heartbeat over the last 12 hours. Your apgar scores were low, a 6 and an 8. Fortunately, although you had the cord wrapped around your neck and you swallowed meconium on your way out, you eventually were handed to me and you were perfect and pink and cute. Right away you started eating on me and all of us were in love.
Recovery was difficult and not fun, but sitz baths helped a lot and 10 weeks later, I am on the mend. You have stolen my heart and found a place so deep within it that I just can't even explain how much I love your sweet smell and feel and smiles and toes. Everything about you, you are so perfect. Thank you Jesus for hearing the prayer in my heart for you. I love you Sammy, thank you for being my son.
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